Table of Contents
The short answer
You can ask for a female or a male therapist when you book a home massage, and you should. Stating a preference is an ordinary part of booking and no reason has to be given. What is available depends on the treatment, the date and the therapists free in your area, so the answer is confirmed at booking, before anyone travels to your home.
That is all IHR Dream Cleaning publishes on the subject, and this guide does not go beyond it. Our spa and wellness page says that therapist availability is confirmed before the appointment, and our area pages say that you can ask for a female or male therapist when booking, where the treatment allows. We do not publish a rule saying which therapist is sent to which customer, so nothing below should be read as a promise of a particular arrangement. If the preference matters to you, treat it as a condition of the booking and have it confirmed.
Why people ask, and why no reason is needed
People state a preference for different reasons, and all of them are sound. For many households it is a matter of faith and modesty: a woman is treated by a woman and a man by a man, and that is the end of the discussion. For others it is a family rule about who visits the home when certain people are in or out. Some people are simply more at ease lying under a towel in front of someone of their own sex, and some feel the opposite. Some have had an uncomfortable experience in the past and do not intend to repeat it.
None of this needs explaining to a booking desk. 'Female therapist only, please' is a complete request. A provider that asks you to justify it, or that tells you it will 'see on the day', has not understood what it is being asked.
A male therapist does not mean a firmer massage
One reason is worth correcting, because it leads people to choose against their own comfort. Many assume that a man gives a stronger massage. Pressure comes from body weight, leverage and technique. A therapist leans through a forearm or an elbow instead of pushing with the hands, and a table set at the right height does much of the work. A therapist of either sex can give firm pressure, and a therapist of either sex can give a very light session.
If you want firm work, ask for firm work or book a deep tissue session. Our comparison of the different types of massage explains which technique gives which kind of pressure. Choose the therapist on comfort alone.
How to state your preference when you book
Put it in writing in the booking, not only in a phone call, so that it travels with the appointment. A clear request has five parts.
- Say who the session is for: 'for my wife', 'for me, a man', 'for my mother, aged 70', 'for two people, one man and one woman'. The person booking is often not the person on the table.
- State the preference in plain words: 'female therapist', 'male therapist' or 'no preference'.
- Say how firm it is. 'Required: please do not send anyone else' is different from 'preferred if possible'. If it is a requirement, add that you would sooner move the date than accept a change.
- Mention anything about the home that affects the visit: who will be in, which entrance or part of the house the therapist should come to, and whether a family member will be nearby during the session.
- Give a phone number that will be answered by someone who can take a decision, in case a question comes up before the appointment.
What we need in order to confirm a session
Our service pages list it: the area and address, how to get in, the session length, the pressure you prefer, the number of guests and any therapist preference. They also ask you to mention any sensitivity to oils or fragrances and any privacy or room-access requirement. The more of this is in the booking, the less has to be settled at the door.
If you have no preference at all, say that too. 'No preference' is useful information, because it widens the choice of times that can be offered.
What to ask before you confirm
Five questions settle almost everything. Ask them of any provider, and ask them of us.
- Is my preference confirmed for this appointment, or only noted as a request?
- If the therapist has to change before the day, will I be told in advance, and can I move or cancel the booking if the replacement does not suit me?
- Does the treatment I have chosen affect who can be sent? Our published wording is 'where the treatment allows', so it is a fair question.
- For a session for two: can each of us state a preference, and are two therapists who meet both free at that hour?
- Whom do I call on the day if the person at the door is not the person I expected?
Why 'requested' and 'confirmed' are not the same
A request is a note on a booking. A confirmation is the provider telling you that a therapist who meets the request has been assigned to your slot. Only the second settles the matter. Home services run on a rota that changes with illness, traffic and other bookings, and a note that nobody has acted on is the usual cause of an unwelcome surprise at the door.
If the reply you receive is vague, ask again before the day, in writing. A straight 'yes, confirmed' or 'not at that time, but at this one' is what you are looking for.
How privacy is kept during a massage
In professional massage the body stays covered. You undress in private, to the level you are comfortable with, and lie under a sheet or a large towel. The therapist uncovers one area at a time, such as the back, then one leg, then the other, and covers it again before moving on. Intimate areas are not uncovered and are not part of a massage. This is the same with a male or a female therapist and for a male or a female client.
How much you take off is your decision. Many people keep their underwear on. Some keep loose shorts on, or ask for the back to be worked through a thin top without oil. A massage through clothing is less fluid, because oil cannot be used, but it is a legitimate request and worth mentioning when you book.
On our service pages we say that the therapist confirms pressure and product preferences before starting, maintains appropriate draping and privacy throughout the appointment, and that you can ask to adjust the pressure, change position, pause or stop at any time. 'Stop' needs no explanation and no apology.
How households usually arrange a session at home
At home you control the setting, and for anyone concerned about privacy that is the main advantage of a home session over a visit to a spa. The arrangements below are the ones households commonly make. They are options, not requirements, and none of them is a company rule.
For women
A common choice is an hour when the house is quiet: after the school run, or while others are at work. The table is set up in a bedroom or another room in the family part of the home, with the door closed. Some prefer a sister, a mother or a friend to be in the house, and some book a session each on the same visit so that neither is alone with a visitor.
If you cover in front of men outside the family, make sure the room cannot be walked into. A closed door and a word to the household beforehand are enough. If a male relative or a driver will be at home, tell us which entrance the therapist should use and tell him which room is in use, so that nobody is surprised in a corridor.
For men
A common arrangement is an evening or weekend session, after work or training, with the table set up in a guest room, a study or the majlis. In many villas the majlis has its own entrance, which keeps the visit away from the family rooms altogether. If the family is at home, tell them that the room is in use for the length of the booking.
A man who would prefer a male therapist should say so in the same plain words as anyone else. A man who would prefer a female therapist should ask at booking whether that can be arranged for the treatment he has chosen, and should expect a clear answer either way. In both cases the session is the same professional massage, with the same draping and the same boundaries.
For couples and for two people booking together
A session for two is two tables side by side in one room, with two therapists working at the same time. Our couples massage page offers it to couples, friends and family members alike, so it is also how two sisters, or a mother and daughter, can book together.
Each person can state a preference, and the two need not match. Both have to be met at the same hour, though, which is why a session for two should be booked further ahead than a session for one. If two suitable therapists are not free together, ask whether one therapist can give two sessions one after the other. Our guide to couples massage at home covers the room and the timing.
When other people are in the home
Having someone else in the home during a session is normal, and many people prefer it. A relative who wishes to sit in the room may do so if you are happy with that: a chair in the corner is enough, and the therapist should be told at the start. Children need someone else to look after them for the length of the booking. Domestic staff should know not to enter the room until the session is over.
Sessions where you stay dressed
Two sessions on our pages involve no undressing. They are worth knowing about if you are unsure about a table massage, or if the therapist you would want for a full-body session is not available on your date.
The head and shoulder session is 30 minutes on the neck, shoulders, upper back and scalp, given while you sit on an upright chair with your collar loosened. Foot reflexology works on the feet and lower legs for 30 to 60 minutes while you sit on a comfortable chair or sofa, with trousers rolled to the knee.
Some people who would accept only a therapist of their own sex for a full-body massage are comfortable with either for a seated or a foot session. Others are not. Both positions are reasonable, and the booking should say which is yours.
The professional boundaries, stated plainly
The spa sessions IHR offers are the treatments listed on our service pages: relaxation, Swedish, deep tissue, aromatherapy and couples massage, foot reflexology, the head and shoulder session, a facial and a Moroccan bath. Nothing else is offered, to men or to women, by a male or a female therapist.
The standards of the trade are the same everywhere and they apply in both directions.
- The client stays draped. The therapist does not uncover or touch intimate areas, and the client does not ask for it.
- A request for anything outside the treatment booked is refused, and a professional therapist ends the session if the request is repeated.
- Conversation stays ordinary. Remarks about the therapist's appearance, questions about private life and requests for a personal phone number are out of place.
- The session is for the person or people named in the booking, at the address in the booking.
- A therapist who is made uncomfortable is entitled to stop the session and leave. A client who is made uncomfortable is entitled to stop the session and ask the therapist to leave.
- Either side can report what happened to the company afterwards, and should.
Why this is written down
These points are obvious to nearly everyone who books. They are set out here because a search for home massage is not always a search for massage, and it saves time on both sides to be clear about what the service is.
The same boundaries protect you. If a therapist from any provider behaves in a way that feels wrong, such as pressure that ignores what you have said, touch outside the draped area, or remarks that make you uneasy, end the session. You do not need to be certain and you do not need to be polite about it. Then tell the company what happened, in writing, on the same day.
For a session booked with us, the office is on +971 52 723 5299 and at info@ihrdreamcleaning.com, and the other ways to reach us are on the contact page.
If the therapist you asked for is not available
Sometimes the answer at booking is 'not at that time'. A session for two, a busy holiday or a late slot can make it more likely. You then have several options, and accepting a therapist you are not comfortable with is not one of them.
- Ask which nearby times the preference can be met. A different hour on the same day, or the following day, is often enough.
- Book further ahead next time. A preference is easier to meet when there is more of the rota still open.
- For two people, ask about one therapist giving two sessions back to back instead of two therapists side by side. It takes longer, and the visit has to finish within our working day, 8 AM – 8 PM.
- Consider a seated head and shoulder session or foot reflexology for now, if you are comfortable with either therapist for a session where you stay dressed.
- Cancel. Cancelling or moving a booking is free up to 6 hours before the start time, and the cancellation policy explains what happens after that.
If the change happens on the day
A change of therapist after a preference has been confirmed should reach you before the therapist sets out, not at your door. Ask for that assurance when you book.
If someone other than the therapist you agreed to does arrive, you do not have to go ahead. Say so at the door, courteously, and call the office so that the booking can be moved. How the charge for a visit of that kind is handled is not written into our published policy. That is one more reason to raise the question at booking and to have the answer in writing.
Checking who you are booking with
Whichever therapist you prefer, the surest protection is to book through a company you can identify, not through an individual advertising a phone number. Before you let any provider into your home, look for the following.
- A company name, a trade licence number and an office address that are published and that match one another.
- A written list of treatments that says what each one includes and how long it lasts.
- Booking and payment through the company's own website or app, by card, with a confirmation you can refer to later. Be wary of a request to send money to an individual.
- A stated way to change or cancel, and a phone number that is answered during working hours.
- A willingness to answer the five questions above without irritation.
Where to find our details
Our about page gives the company's details. The legal name is IHR Dream General Maintenance and Cleaning L.L.C., the trade licence number is CN-4175959 and the office is in Al Danah, Abu Dhabi. Sessions are booked and paid for by card through the website or the IHR Dream app, and the published prices are AED 199 for a 60-minute massage and AED 279 for 90 minutes.
Rules for massage services and for the people who give them are set by the authorities, not by providers. If you want to verify what any company tells you about its licence, ask for the licence number and check it with the authority that issued it.
Common questions
Can a man book a female therapist, or a woman a male therapist?
Ask when you book. Our published wording is that you can ask for a female or male therapist where the treatment allows, and that therapist availability is confirmed before the appointment. We do not publish which combinations are offered for which treatment, so this guide cannot answer yes or no on the company's behalf. If the answer for the session you wanted is no, ask what the alternatives are before you decide.
Do couples need one male and one female therapist?
No. The two preferences are separate requests: both female, both male, or one of each. Which of those can be met at your hour is confirmed at booking. If each of you wants something different, write both preferences in the booking with the name of the person each applies to, so that the right therapist goes to the right table.
Can I ask for the same therapist next time?
You can ask. We do not publish a promise on this for spa sessions, so put the request in the booking with the date of your last session and ask for it to be confirmed like any other preference. Booking further ahead gives the request a better chance. If the therapist is not free, decide in advance whether you would sooner have another therapist at your usual time or the same therapist at a different one.
What if I realise during the session that I am not comfortable?
Say 'please stop'. A professional therapist stops at once and steps out of the room while you dress. You do not owe a reason at the time. Afterwards, call or write to the office and say what happened, even if it was nothing more than a feeling. It is your home and your session, and a professional will not take offence.
Can I book for an elderly parent and stay with them?
Yes. Say in the booking who the session is for, their age, their preference for a female or male therapist, and anything about their health that the therapist should know. Ask their doctor first if they have a heart condition, fragile skin or bones, a history of blood clots or have had recent surgery. Stay in the room if they would like you to. A seated head and shoulder session or foot reflexology is often easier for an older person than climbing onto a table.
Will my preference be remembered for future bookings?
Do not rely on it. State the preference each time you book, in the same words. It takes one line, and it removes any doubt about whether a note from an earlier visit was carried over.
Does asking for a particular therapist change the session?
It should change nothing about the treatment. The same session is booked for the same length, and the therapist brings the same table, linens and oils. What a preference can change is the times on offer, because fewer therapists fit the request. That is the only practical cost of stating one, and it is a reason to book early, not a reason to stay silent.
How to book with a preference
Choose the treatment on the spa and wellness page, then book online or in the IHR Dream app. In the notes, write the treatment, who the session is for, the therapist preference, whether it is a requirement or a wish, and anything about the home that the therapist should know. Check the confirmation for the preference before the day, and ask if it is not mentioned.
For the practical side of the visit, such as the space a table needs, what the therapist brings and what a session costs, see our guide to how a home massage session works.
